Welcome back to Little Leadership Lessons, my newsletter highlighting short but powerful insights to help you lead with confidence and create lasting results. These lessons come directly from my research, interviews, and coaching work with six- and seven-figure creator-founders.
My wife and I are trying a new habit this year: a quarterly “strategic planning for life and work” retreat. It’s a chance for us to check in on:
- Our wins and struggles from the first few months of the year
- Marriage and parenting life
- Family finances
- Travel and adventure plans for the rest of the year
- Feedback for one another on how we can continue to grow
- And of course, to have fun and relax together
These past couple days were our first attempt and so far I’m a fan! I’m excited to see the compounding effects of doing it every quarter for a couple of years.
Do you have a habit like this? Hit reply and tell me what you’ve learned from it.
Let’s get to it.
A Beautiful Photo of Nature
Like a bear emerging from hibernation in Spring, this time of year is ripe for growth in our businesses and inner lives.
Little Leadership Lesson: Master Your Emotions, Master Your Life
[…]being informed by our emotions, not domineered by them, is crucial in directing our lives. […]
The key to not being swept away by intense emotional states is to catch them before they ignite and inflame us. The Buddhists have an expression for this: to “cool and extinguish the glowing embers before they ignite into a consuming flame.” […]
As people learn to master their emotions, they also being to harness the underlying impulses to action.
– Peter A. Levine, In an Unspoken Voice
My Take On How Emotions Affect Our Lives (and Businesses)
After nearly 500 hours coaching top creators and founders over the past three years, one truth stands out:
Most of us already know what we need to do.
What holds them back is the emotional cost of doing it.
This is especially true amongst high performing people. Yet this runs counter to most of the advice you’ll find online. The dominant narrative says success is just one more tactic away—one perfect strategy, one productivity hack, one funnel tweak.
But the people I coach? They’re already running those strategies. Many are inventing the next wave of what works. They are at the forefront of their fields.
The real challenge isn’t knowing what to do. It’s doing what they already know—consistently, courageously, and in alignment with their values.
Why is that so hard?
Because every meaningful change that leads to growth comes with an emotional cost. There is a friction between where you are and where you want to go. This friction is invisible until you build the skill of becoming more aware of your body (somatic awareness) and feelings (emotional awareness).
Not sleeping enough. Not delegating. Not raising prices. Not giving performance feedback to your team.
These aren’t knowledge gaps. They’re resistance points.
And that resistance starts in the body.
Here’s how information flows from our body to our minds (even when we’re sitting still, staring at a Zoom call):
- Sensation arises in the body.
- That sensation becomes emotion.
- The brain interprets and responds—usually by avoiding discomfort.
So when you learn something new—like “I should sleep 8 hours”— but you fail to implement it even though you know it would serve you… what’s going on there?
First, your body resists. Then emotions like anxiety or guilt emerge. And then your mind starts crafting reasons to justify your avoidance.
Most people try to brute-force their way through that resistance. But lasting change starts with awareness of the flow of information, not willpower.
Learning to feel your body and emotions—to notice the signal before the logic—is what unlocks sustainable growth. That’s true whether it’s your own inner growth or it’s the growth of your business.
A Question to Apply This to Your Life
Think of one area of your life or business where you have a deep desire for change or progress… but you’ve been struggling to make a breakthrough.
What actions do you already know you need to take? Make a list.
Now, read the list out loud. What sensations do you notice in your body? Do you have a clenched jaw? Tight shoulders? Nervous stomach? Heavy heart or chest?
What emotions do you associate with the feelings in your body?
What does that tell you about why you haven’t taken action?
Thanks for Being Here!
Hope you enjoyed this edition of Little Leadership Lessons, direct from my research and work with six- and seven-figure creator founders. If you haven’t dug into the growing body of work on how emotions live in our body, I would highly encourage you to dig in.
In an Unspoken Voice, The Body Keeps the Score, Healing Back Pain, and The Polyvagal Theory are all good places to start.
Hit reply and let me know what resonates in this week’s LLL. I’d love to hear from you!
Much love and respect,
PS: If you haven’t already, please take a few minutes to complete my subscriber survey. It will help me help you with more and better resources.