This episode is a special one. After a year of interviewing thoughtful, world-class guests, I wanted to share more of my own story. So I asked my dear friend, and episode 01 guest, James Clear, to turn the mic on me. We talk about the formative moments in my life— from childhood patterns and baseball memories to the inner work I’ve done to stop striving without purpose and start accepting myself more fully. I share why I believe that most successful people already know what to do—they just need help getting past their individual emotional blockers. We explore the coaching frameworks I use, the lessons I’m still learning, and why I no longer believe I have to suffer to do good in the world. This is the most personal conversation I’ve ever had on the show, and I’m incredibly grateful to James for holding it with so much care. Let’s get to it!
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In this episode:
- (00:00) – Intro
- (04:37) – Barrett’s favorite exercises for processing change and transition
- (15:12) – How self-awareness evolves
- (20:59) – Barrett’s early years and why the Discovery program was so meaningful
- (28:06) – How baseball taught Barrett to deal with pressure
- (37:45) – A compliment Barrett still carries—and what it taught him about self-worth
- (40:18) – What Barrett learned from his dad
- (45:59) – Why Barrett used to wait to ask for help
- (50:04) – Learning to hear “no” without rewriting your self-worth
- (52:23) – Can you do good work and still want credit?
- (55:59) – What shaped Barrett’s curiosity about the world
- (01:00:28) – Seeing the cost of inherited patterns
- (01:04:07) – Reflections on adolescence, faith, and finding purpose
- (01:11:51) – When others see your strengths before you do
- (01:15:01) – Why Barrett left a dream job with no plan
- (01:18:00) – Surrendering to the work you’re made to do
- (01:25:02) – Leading with thoughts or feelings?
- (01:27:13) – What Barrett imagined fatherhood would be—and what it became
- (01:29:02) – Modeling emotional health and growth
- (01:31:27) – What Barrett would learn by trading places with his wife
- (01:32:47) – The truth about balancing family and entrepreneurship
- (01:37:51) – The kinds of people Barrett is best at coaching
- (01:41:07) – What Barrett would teach if given a mic and 30 minutes to prep
- (01:42:22) – Barrett’s proudest achievement—and what’s next
Key Takeaways
- Let go of what no longer serves you—when it’s ready. Barrett shares a powerful exercise he uses with clients to reflect on life transitions: identify what is ready to end, not just what you want to end. This nuanced distinction invites clarity, emotional honesty, and intentional release. It’s not about forcing change but allowing the next chapter to emerge when it’s truly time.
- True self-awareness is felt, not just thought. Barrett breaks down the three channels of awareness—cognition, emotion, and interoception (body awareness)—and highlights how high-achieving people often get stuck in their heads. By tuning into physical sensations and emotions, we unlock deeper insight into our motivations and blocks.
- Most people don’t need more strategy—they need to process their emotions. Coaching isn’t about handing out advice. Barrett emphasizes that most people already know what they want or need to do. The real work is moving through the emotional resistance that prevents action. Emotional awareness is often the missing link to making progress.
- You can’t receive if you don’t ask—and you can’t ask if you fear rejection. Barrett opens up about how childhood experiences taught him to avoid asking for what he needed. Over time, he’s reframed request-making as a skill, one that includes letting go of attachment to the answer. A “no” doesn’t define your worth—it’s often just about the other person’s bandwidth.
- Healing is remembering who you already were. In one of the most vulnerable parts of the episode, Barrett reflects on how personal growth hasn’t meant becoming someone new, but rediscovering the confident, curious, wholehearted child he used to be. It’s not about proving you’re enough—it’s realizing you always were.
Quotes
”The biggest insight I’ve had from coaching is that people already know what they should do. They struggle with the emotional blockers to doing it. Most of the time they have an inner knowing about what they should do or what they want to do, and there’s some emotional cost to that thing.” ~ Barrett Brooks
“The true path to mastery is not saying, I’ve already mastered that move, therefore I don’t need to do it today. It’s saying, since I know that move, it’s probably worth me practicing repeatedly, perhaps even for hours, to see what new I can learn from it.” ~ Barrett Brooks
“If your behavioral patterns are causing you to respond to opportunity from a place of scarcity and ‘trying to put food on the table’ even though you have millions of dollars in the bank, your experience is the exact same as if you were poor.” ~ Barrett Brooks
“The part I’ve had to practice the most is the skill of receiving the answer without attachment and not telling myself a story about the meaning behind that.” ~ Barrett Brooks
“If all I do in this entire life that I live is set my sons up to know the fullness of their emotional experience, that they are fully and truly loved, and that they do not have to do anything or suffer in any way to earn that love… that’s it. That’s all I’m here for.” ~ Barrett Brooks
Links
- The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Fancis Weller: https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Edge-Sorrow-Rituals-Renewal/dp/1583949763
- Anne-Laure Le Cunff on Good Work: https://www.goodworkshow.com/how-tiny-experiments-lead-to-big-breakthroughs-with-anne-laure-le-cunff/
- Daniel Kahneman: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Kahneman
- Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/book/atlas-of-the-heart/
- Dick Schwartz: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_C._Schwartz
- IFS: https://ifs-institute.com/
- Steve Jobs: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Jobs
- Apple: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Inc.
- Sarah Tavel: https://x.com/sarahtavel
- Mastery by George Leonard: https://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Keys-Success-Long-Term-Fulfillment/dp/0452267560
- Denzel Washington: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denzel_Washington
- Ethan Hawk: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethan_Hawke
- Tina Tower on Good Work: https://www.goodworkshow.com/from-burnout-to-balance-how-tina-tower-built-a-2m-business-without-breaking-herself/
- Atomic Habits: https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
- Arnold Schwarzenegger: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_Schwarzenegger
- Ann Brooks on Good Work: https://www.goodworkshow.com/mom-ann-brooks-on-what-they-dont-teach-you-in-business-school/
- Lockheed Martin: https://www.lockheedmartin.com/
- Mr. Mom: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Mom
- Sarah Halley: https://presencebasedcoaching.com/about/meet-our-team/sarah-halley
- Thomas Carlyle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Carlyle
- Habitat for Humanity: https://www.habitat.org/
- It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn: https://www.amazon.com/Didnt-Start-You-Inherited-Family/dp/1101980389
- How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie: https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034
- UGA: https://www.uga.edu/
- Chase Reeves: https://chasereeves.co/
- Corbett Barr: https://www.corbettbarr.com/
- Ernst and Young: https://www.ey.com/
- Fizzle: https://x.com/fizzle
- Kit: https://kit.com/
- Living For Monday: https://barrettbrooks.com/portfolio/the-living-for-monday-show/
- Nathan Barry: https://x.com/nathanbarry
- Seth Godin: https://seths.blog/
- The Carbon Almanac: https://thecarbonalmanac.org/
- Panthalassa: https://panthalassa.com/
- David Whyte: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Whyte_(poet)
- John O’Donohue: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_O%27Donohue
- Maria Popova: https://www.themarginalian.org/
- Scoot Henderson: https://www.nba.com/player/1630703/scoot-henderson
Connect with James
- Website: http://jamesclear.com
- The 3-2-1 Newsletter: https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1
- X / Twitter: https://twitter.com/jamesclear
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamesclear/
- Atomic Habits: https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
Connect with Barrett
- Barrett’s newsletter: https://BarrettBrooks.com
- X / Twitter: https://twitter.com/barrettabrooks
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/barrettabrooks
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