This week, I talk with Parker Palmer in one of the most intimate and expansive conversations I’ve had on Good Work. Parker is an author, activist, and teacher whose ideas have shaped generations. But what moves me most is his honesty. We talk about the winding path that led him from academic life to community organizing to a Quaker learning community where he rebuilt his inner world. We explore discernment, solitude, “Circles of Trust”, and what it means to listen to the voice of your soul—especially in seasons of burnout or heartbreak. At 86, Parker reflects on aging, democracy, vocation, and his belief that the heart can break in two ways: it can shatter, or it can break open into greater capacity. If you’ve ever felt pulled toward a path you “can’t not do,” or if your inner life is asking more of you right now, this conversation is for you. Let’s get to it!
In this episode:
- (00:00) – Intro
- (00:42) – “Deep in the oatmeal” and the role of humor in a serious life
- (02:11) – How Parker’s spiritual life slowly took shape
- (13:08) – Choosing to stay at Pendle Hill—and what that meant for Parker’s family
- (23:45) – How to tell the difference between a passing idea and a true calling
- (31:40) – A radically different way of being in community
- (40:45) – Why presence matters more than fixing
- (52:35) – The unlikely beginnings of the Center for Courage & Renewal
- (01:05:17) – What 30 years of building an organization has taught Parker
- (01:15:06) – Solitude, nature, and marriage as sustaining practices
- (01:22:31) – Aging, loss, and staying open to what’s next
- (01:30:39) – The two ways a heart can break
Key Takeaways
- Discernment requires both solitude and community. Parker teaches that we make our best vocational and life decisions by listening inwardly and by letting trusted people “hear us into deeper speech.” Solitude reveals our true motives; community helps us sort out which inner voices are trustworthy.
- You can’t give what you haven’t grown within yourself. Whether teaching, leading, parenting, or serving others, Parker reminds us that inner work is not selfish—it’s essential. We must cultivate the depth, clarity, and integrity we hope to offer the world.
- Don’t confuse fixing with caring—presence is the real gift. Most of us try to “fix, save, advise, or correct” others because it’s easier than staying present with their pain. Parker’s experience with depression—and the friend who simply massaged his feet each day—reveals that true care often looks like compassionate presence, not problem-solving.
- Vocation often unfolds slowly—sometimes over decades. Parker didn’t fully understand his calling until age 50. The path was winding, countercultural, filled with uncertainty, and often economically challenging. Yet following the quiet inner “I can’t not do this” ultimately led to meaningful work. The long road is the road.
- Safe communities don’t coerce—they invite. “Circles of Trust” are built on radical invitations: no one is forced to share, participate, or adopt a belief. This creates genuine agency, which allows people to explore difficult truths without fear. The result is a rare kind of community where the soul can speak.
Quotes
“You have to grow something in order to give it away.” ~ Parker Palmer
“Listening to your inner voice is, for me, a very important component. And the challenge comes when you realize that you don’t just have one inner voice. There are other voices in there for sure.” ~ Parker Palmer
“Violence is what happens when we don’t know what else to do with our suffering.” ~ Parker Palmer
“There’s another way for the heart to break, and that is to break open into greater capacity—not in spite of their loss, but because of their loss. That the loss has somehow opened them to the largeness of life.” ~ Parker Palmer
“The burnout that I experienced as a community organizer had a lot to do with the fact that I lacked a spiritual life. I lacked the tools to explore my inner landscape. I knew very little about what was going on in there and what was driving me, and in some cases what was limiting my engagement with myself and other people in the world.” ~ Parker Palmer
“For Quakers, there are these two touchstones—solitude and community. But community has a very different meaning for Quakers and for me in the work of the Center for Courage and Renewal than it does in the larger world. I think in our world, as it rolls along its conventional track, community often means if you act like us, dress like us, believe like us, talk like us, do like us, then you’re part of our community.” ~ Parker Palmer
Parker’s Books and Resources
- Center for Courage and Renewal: https://couragerenewal.org/
- A Hidden Wholeness: https://couragerenewal.org/library/a-hidden-wholeness-the-journey-toward-an-undivided-life/
- The Courage to Teach: https://couragerenewal.org/library/the-courage-to-teach-exploring-the-inner-landscape-of-a-teachers-life/
- Healing the Heart of Democracy: https://couragerenewal.org/library/healing-the-heart-of-democracy-the-courage-to-create-a-politics-worthy-of-the-human-spirit/
- On the Brink of Everything: https://couragerenewal.org/library/on-the-brink-of-everything-grace-gravity-and-getting-old/
Links
- Clive James: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clive_James
- Carleton College: https://www.carleton.edu/
- Union Theological Seminary: https://utsnyc.edu/
- Reinhold Niebuhr: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinhold_Niebuhr
- Paul Tillich: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Tillich
- UC Berkeley: https://www.berkeley.edu/
- Fetzer Institute: https://fetzer.org/
- Healing on the Mind by Bill Moyers: https://billmoyers.com/series/healing-and-the-mind/
- Stanford: https://www.stanford.edu/
- Harvard: https://www.harvard.edu/
- Marcy Jackson: https://couragerenewal.org/facilitator/marcyjackson/
- Rick Jackson: https://couragerenewal.org/facilitator/rickjackson/
- Georgia O’Keeffe: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgia_O%27Keeffe
- Terry Tempest Williams: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Tempest_Williams
Connect with Parker
- Website: https://couragerenewal.org/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/parkerjpalmer
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/parker-j-palmer-5a92b110/
Connect with Barrett
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